My 2 little girls and I need your help
Copied this over from my Tumblr blog, so i apologize for anyone who follows me there, seeing a repeat <3 but it was the easiest thing for me to do right now.
ok The original post, was getting really long with all of my reblogs.. if you want to see the original post, and all of its various updates you can go HERE
OK, Hi Everyone! For those of you who Don’t know me and What I’ve been going through (especially the last 2 ½ years) Here’s a Brief Bit Of History: (or as brief as i can make it, and this stuff isn’t on my Go Fund Me as I have to be very careful it doesn’t make its way back to my spouse… you’ll see why.)
OK this is ending up being a LOT LOT Longer than originally intended… but its just so much.. even shortened its a lot.. so i put in a keep reading bar for those who don’t want to read a condensed book lol
To skip to the GoFundMe - click HERE
I am a mom to 2 amazing little girls, 6 and 3. I have been married for 7 years, to a spouse that, while he has some good sides and qualities that a lot of people see…. he has some really really Dark and bad ones, that everyone else is blind too and tends to ignore. 2 ½ years ago I found out the real truths after having the worst year of marriage with him(it had been slowly building up worse and worse), leading up to some very real and personal physical threats made to me AND my girls in July of 2015… I Also then found some extremely bad evidence on the computer that caused me to take some serious action involving court and the police.
Orders of Protection were created by a judge, my spouse was removed from the home, and the police seized the computer to go through it. (I realized at this point, that something that had happened literally 3 months after we were married involving the feds (YES the FEDS) was actually real and possibly was my husband… and not a mistake.. the feds never found any evidence)
Sadly… the Police Never Found any actual “Evidence” from the actions i took either. (police terms this means if there is no 100% nudity its not a crime just super creepy and they can’t do anything about it, good luck)
I also found out some extremely DISTURBING information about my spouse, from his childhood and preteens involving his mother and his sister… that they Never thought was important to tell me BEFORE we got married…..they just thought he had “grown out of it”
After about 3 months, and no evidence The Court was basically ready to drop all of the charges, as he had passed testing and various things put before him, and he had agreed to see a Therapist etc. I Personally could have Pushed things and Fought.. but if i was going to fight, he was also ready to start pushing for Rights to see the Children. THIS was my greatest fear!! Since being married I have been a Stay at home mom. Relying on his income.. and pretty much stuck in this situation. My only income comes from my Art, and plushies and etsy shop. Day cares cost WAy way to much for us to even attempt to afford, and he has been great at almost every 6 to 8 months either quitting or getting fired from a job and needing a new one so that financially we get pretty much no where… For most of our married life, we also have been stuck with 1 car to share, so working for me is next to impossible…. Like Right NOW… my van won’t pass state inspection without $600 worth of work on it.. so i am screwed and stuck at home, again… because instead of fixing his vehicle, it was decided that “long term” it was better to buy a “new/used” one -_-
ANYWAY… I have been trying my best to save what I can, but more often than not, the little bit of money I do get, is spent on digging us out of holes.
SO…. with the court dropping charges, and my Mind being 100% focused on keeping my Daughters SAFE…. I have been trying to “make things work”… I dont trust him alone with them for more than certain amounts of time, so for me, getting a job out side of the house, opposite of his work schedule, would give him a lot of time 100% alone with them.
He IS seeing a Therapist…. it took many many many phone calls and emails… No regular Therapists or Counselors would see him. What do I mean by regular?.. well.. lets put it this way, His Counselor’s Primary Clientele, are registered sex Offenders. And non of the therapists we(I) called would even see us as at a couples counseling session.. it had to be solo.. because of his issues. He finally also began medication with a psychiatrist… and this has actually helped him a lot.. BUT.. it still doesn’t help my primary concerns.. which are our daughters being safe as they grow older and begin to mature.
I also started seeing a Counselor for my own anxiety and stress over the entire situation, as most of my married life with him, I thought I was losing my mind over certain situations that would arise.
OK its really hard to tell all of this without delving into lots of details as there are lots and lots and lots of little things i’ve had to deal with.
My Main concern is that, when we have spoken… His View of the Future, when I ask him Direct Questions.. are “I dont know” His counselor even said that its all up in the air.. and up to him, they told me i need to follow my gut with everything because my gut has always been right. (i talked at length with his counselor on the phone, what she thought would be a 15 min conversation was about 2 hours)
After seeing how he interacted with one of my daughter’s friends who came over Dec 2016.. and how her parents subtly reacted to his actions.. and confronting him about it after they left… He honestly was all impulse.. and it didn’t Occur to him until afterwards how this seemingly innocent act was NOT and it was just wrong… and now My Daughter’s best friend hasn’t been over since.. her parents basically cut contact with me except in civil polite conversation at school.. and any attempts to have them play again together has been a “oh yeah sure, we’ll let you know” and then no responses.. not even coming to her birthday party.
I can’t let my daughters grow up in a home that is unsafe.. I can’t let them not be able to have friends over.. to miss out on birthday parties, and sleep overs and having friends hanging out.. those typical and necessary parts of childhood. I can’t let themselves live in a Questionably safe home…. I shouldn’t have to drill my innocent little girls on constant stranger danger and what’s appropriate and what’s not..
So My Go Fund Me… is my First Step. My First Step in Freeing myself and my children from this toxic home. My Gut has told me I need to take everything in baby steps, to assure that my little girls are the safest they can be. ALL of my family lives over 6 hours away from me in NJ, one of the most important people, being my Older Sister who is at this point, Disabled (you can read all about that on my gofundme)
The Apartment that has come available, is literally directly above her. For a Mom with zero income it is an expensive apartment.. even with income it is a little pricey.. BUT.. I have been slowly prepping my spouse, that I needed to move back to NJ to live near my sister for a while, with the girls. HE FINALLY has a job that he actually likes and has kept for well over a year, plus around his job, there are cheap rooms to rent fully furnished… With my prep work, his depression and anxiety of the girls and I moving has been kept relatively calm, and agreeable. He Agrees that this situation is the perfect opportunity, and he has agreed to stay behind and continue working for at least a year or more Here. My hope is that it will become much longer than this. I have set up visitation schedules with him, of every other weekend, he would be coming down to spend a 4 day weekend with us. (long term, if i can show a judge this set up schedule and actual working situation, with all the previously mentioned things and court cases, that I could make it a permanent thing without him being able to have overnight/solo time with the girls until they are old enough for me to actually discuss their daddy’s issues and what they need to be careful about)
Even with his work, we have had a bad few months, and all of my careful savings was depleted… so My Go Fund Me is strictly going to Me and The Girls… and this apartment. My Goal amount will see to it that the Girls and I are Set on Rent for the first 3 months. Anything OVER that goal amount.. goes towards Food, Gas.. and getting my Van Fixed. Any Commissions for Art, etsy sales or commissions for plushies That I take right now Goes Directly towards Getting my Van Fixed, and paying for either a Rental Moving truck, or professional movers.. whichever will be cheaper.
Right now we are still $3100 short of meeting my base Goal on Go Fund me. and I’m about $400 short on fixing my Van. All of your re-blogs really do help, and are greatly appreciated.
My Family can’t help.. like I previously said, my one sister (also best friend) is disabled and just manages to care for herself.. She is helping the best she can by working her Professional and personal Connections with people in town to help get me steady income/work once I do move.
My other sister lives further away, and is also on disability and has her own little group of issues, so her form of support is just verbal/mental.
Both of my parents passed away over 7 years ago.
my spouses family… while they tell me to do what’s best for my kids.. and i have talked about separation for over 2 years… are just.. weird and while they nod their heads and say keep the kids safe, they also give me funny looks and don’t understand why he isn’t moving with us..,, The Same people who told me what he did to them when he was younger.. yeah i can’t really figure it out either but i know there’s no help coming from them.
SO please keep reblogging… as much as you feel you are able. If you want to donate, even the smallest $1.00 contribution is extremely helpful.
You can donate Via my GoFundMe page.. or directly to my paypal - littlewolfstudios@gmail.com I DO mark all paypal donations ON my GoFundMe Page! (marked as “offline” donations) unless you ask for your name to be put onto your donation i mark them as anonymous
Thanks for reading this far.. thanks for all the support you have given me so far!!
Moving Dates are set right now to be between November 1st and 8th… so the sooner i can reach my goals, the easier this move will be and the sooner my girls and i will begin our journey of freedom and safety.
thank you thank you thank you
Emergency Moving Fund Raiser
WOW its been a really long time since I posted a Journal entry. So sorry for the absence Things have just been a bit tough around here.
Here's the current news and dilemma
The last 2 years or more have been spent dealing with a lot of issues with my spouse. He has a lot of demons, and they are just bigger than the both of us at this point. Leading to the last 2 years of walking on eggshells.. doing everything I Can to keep my 2 young daughters healthy and safe (ages 6 and 3) I Have been planning a move for quite some time, but have not had the opportunity, as I have been a stay at home mom and rely on my spouse's wages, and due to where we live, there is no one to watch my kids so that I could pick up a part time job.
I have been quite isolated where we live, as all of my family is over 6 hours away, my sister in particular who is disabled and can't afford to travel to see us. I finally got the chance to bring my girls down to see her the past 2 weeks. While down here visiting my sister and helping her with things, an absolutely amazing opportunity has arisen. The Apartment directly above hers.. is becoming vacant.
I am in a pinch.. and could Really REALLY use your help to get the funds up so that I can make this move happen. I only have until October 15th to gather the funds needed to Move my Children and Myself, and pay for at least the first 2-3 months of rent. This leaves me with enough time to find work. My sister has already been putting the word out with local busniess friends that she knows, and there's a large possibility for work almost immediately, even if it's just part time.
I created a GoFundMe that explains a bit more if you wish to check that out : GOFUNDME LINK
Also accepting donations to my paypal - littlewolfstudios@gmail.com
I have a bunch of cute plush, and embroidered patches for sale in my etsy shop - littlewolfstudios.etsy.com
and I am taking a limited number of plush commissions - please see my tumblr blog for more information - littlewolfstudios.tumblr.com
IF All you are able to do, is SHARE this blog.. It is GREATLY Appreciated and You are an AWESOME person for caring enough to share it!!! Thank you Thank you Thank you!
Wow.. July...
Starting with my spouse in the ER on July 2nd... ended up having his appendix removed July 3rd... just to land back in the ER for Pain issues (delayed Nerve ending reactions) on July 9th.. and now 3 weeks of healing with ZERO work.. haha...
It's been a rough month financially... Thankfully in some aspects.. With the Release of Pokemon GO my Etsy shop ( littlewolfstudios.etsy.com) suddenly got a lot of business with people buying pokemon patches.. so that helped us out a LOT with Gas and chipping away at the credit card bills and other bills... I was able to chip enough away from 2 credit cards that when we were just at our last day to pay rent or be evicted (yes we have a strict apartment complex.. just a couple weeks late on rent and they start the eviction paper work) we were able to max out our 2 credit cards and pay rent for July..
Spouse starts back to work on monday... but won't get paid until the first week of august.. not sure how we'll manage august rent... BUT some FUN and EXCITING news.. that might help with bills/rent.. is on Friday/Sat/Sunday of this weekend.. I will be Vending at TATSU-CON! ^_^ An anime convention at the Buffalo NY Convention Center.. so if you're in the area, or going to the con.. Come by and say hi!!!
I will have, hopefully, a bunch of patches.. in limited supply as I have been having trouble keeping enough patches in stock for the convention.. lol soon as i make 5.. i get orders on etsy for them >< closing my etsy shop on wed so hopefully that takes care of that issue for a couple days. As well as Embroidered Hand/Bar Towels, Wash Clothes, Med size Towels, Scarves, some Cosplay Wolf/Fox Tails and maybe a few more items ^_^ Crossing my fingers it goes really well so that we can have more than 16$ in the bank again!
So yeah.. this has been my month.. here's hoping August is better! lol
Teranan Free YCH give away
cool artist doing a give away !
My little family is having a tough time this Christmas.. basically.. We're Flat broke (once we catch up on bills for the month)
We have 2 little girls One who is turning the big 5 the Day After Christmas, and one who is 1 1/2. As it stands now.. they're getting a home made gift from myself, and one other little gift because it's all we can afford. We have no family to visit.. the only family we have lives 6hrs away and are also going through tough times themselves, and it's going to be a bit of a sad christmas and Birthday this year. SO
I'm hoping you guys can help! Starting tomorrow(Thursday) For a couple hours each day from thurs -Sunday, I will be streaming! FREE Doodles for anyone who wants a doodle of their Fav Char or OC.. and Paid Colored Images..
There are TWO WAYS you can pay for a commission..
1.. Pay what you want through Paypal (YES PAY WHAT YOU WANT!! normally $30 fully colored)
(this money will allow us to get my daughter a cake for her birthday and if I earn enough even take her to chuck e cheese, or a restaurant of her choice for dinner on her birthday
OR
2. You can buy my girls one of the items on the amazon wish list I made for them ! you get to pick what item!
I will have my microphone on so you can chat with me, and my girls Starting about 5pm tomorrow evening on picarto
My Stream Link : picarto.tv/littlewolfstudios
My Email(also paypal): littlewolfstudios@gmail.com
My Girl's Amazon Wishlist :
www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wis…;
Thanks so much for taking time to read this! I hope to see some of you at my stream! Even if all you do is pop in to say hello!
also thank you to anyone who shares this along with more friends!